Colossians– Chapter Three XXXVIII

by Ed Urzi

“Wives, be submissive to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and don’t be bitter toward them” (Colossians 3:18-19 HCSB).

Two people who enter the initial stages of a dating relationship are usually on their “best behavior” as they each seek to impress the other. Unfortunately, “best behavior” is not always synonymous with “normal behavior” and those who subsequently enter a marriage relationship may eventually begin to wonder what happened to the person who first attracted their interest as they get to know each other better.

For some, this may lead to an erosion of respect as the couple becomes better acquainted with their individual faults and idiosyncrasies. Or perhaps a sense of monotony, tedium, or apathy may gradually settle into a long-term marital relationship. From a husband’s perspective, these attitudes may lead to a number of negative effects.

For example, a husband may begin to exhibit a thinly veiled sense of acrimony toward his wife as his perceived grievances against her start to accumulate. That internal sense of bitterness might then be expressed though antagonistic comments, sarcastic observations, or a subtle demeanor of annoyance. He may become easily exasperated, withdrawn, impatient, or overly contentious with his spouse.

The problem is that a husband who succumbs to these negative behaviors often forgets that he and his wife have become one flesh (Mark 10:6-9). Because of this, a husband who develops a bitter attitude towards his wife damages himself in the process. Fortunately, Colossians 3:19 provides us with an advance warning that can help a Godly husband avoid this trap.

While a husband may legitimately feel as if his wife has given him a reason to justify a sense of bitterness towards her, that does not relieve him of the responsibility to maintain a God-honoring example within his marriage relationship. Remember that God desires the marriage relationship to serve as an illustration of His relationship with His people (Ephesians 5:31-32). That may sometimes require a husband to exhibit the same kind of self-sacrificing kind of love that God demonstrates towards us.

Finally, a God-honoring man can benefit by following a piece of common-sense wisdom from the Old Testament book of Ecclesiastes: “Enjoy life with your beloved wife during all the days of your fleeting life that God has given you on earth during all your fleeting days; for that is your reward in life and in your burdensome work on earth” (Ecclesiastes 9:9 NET).