Ask The Doctor!

by Ed Urzi

Yes, it’s time for Ask The Doctor where questions of interest to the teen community are mangled, tangled, and occasionally even answered! And here’s our first lucky contestant…

Dear Doctor

I have been seeing my boyfriend for a while now and things are going really well but lately he has been pressuring me to have sex with him. He says that he loves me and believes that we might have a future together. But he also says that no one would buy a car without taking it for a test drive first and he wants to see if we are compatible. I really love him and what he says seems to make sense. What do you think?

Ok, The Doctor wants to make sure that he understands this correctly- Your boyfriend wants to take your body for a “test drive“? And how many “test drives” does your boyfriend think he will need before he makes a decision? Perhaps your boyfriend can also tell you how long he expects these “test drives” to last. A month? Six months? A year? Would you let someone test drive your car for that long? And what if your boyfriend decides that you aren’t compatible with him after that- then what?

You see, The Doctor suspects that guys who make requests like this are really more interested in their own self-gratification than in finding out if you are sexually compatible as a couple.

Unfortunately, The Doctor has found that many sexually active couples believe that they are involved in relationships that are based on love but are really based on getting their own needs met. In other words, each (or one) partner is using the other for their own pleasure and calling that relationship “love.”

The sad part is that this definition of “love” has it all backwards- the true nature of love is based on giving, not taking. This is why you often see sexually active couples break up when one partner has been away at school or otherwise physically unavailable for a long time. When a relationship is built on physical pleasure and not on real love, it often crashes when that physical pleasure is no longer available.

This attitude cheapens the gift of sex and is certainly not what God intended. In a God-honoring relationship, the physical act of sex is not the basis of the relationship but an expression of the love that already exists. Those who do it God’s way and postpone sexual activity until marriage have a greater opportunity to build their relationship on those things that the Bible says are important (see 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 and Galatians 5:22-23 for two good lists of these things). And don’t forget that most importantly, premarital sexual activity is a sin against God (see 1 Corinthians 6:9-10).


Someone told me that there is an automobile mentioned in the Bible. Could that really be true?

Absolutely! The first automobile mentioned in the Bible is found in Acts 2:1 where we’re told that the disciples were all together and they were all in one Accord (perhaps they were a little bigger back then).


I've been talking with a friend of mine who says that one religion is as good as another. What makes Christianity different from other religions?

Many religions teach that people can achieve salvation through doing (or not doing) certain things. One religion might have it’s followers pray at specified times and another may teach that people must refrain from eating certain things. Some religions teach that people have to spend great amounts of time in meditation or chant certain mantras or participate in ceremonies or do certain good deeds to assure themselves of salvation. Although each of these requirements are different, they each have something in common- they place a great emphasis on what people have to do for God.

Christianity is different. Christianity is not based on what you can do for God but on what God has done for you through Jesus Christ. The Bible tells us that all people have been disobedient to God (Romans 3:23, 1 John 1:10) and that we are separated from Him because of it. But because Christ came and took the punishment we deserved for this disobedience (1 Peter 2:24) we can now have a personal relationship with God by accepting His sacrifice in our place (see Romans 10:9, and 2 Corinthians 5:19).

As for “one religion is as good as another” don’t believe it. Speaking of Jesus, Acts 4:12 says, “There is salvation in no one else. Under all heaven there is no other name for men to call upon to save them.” In fact, Jesus Himself said, “I am the Way- yes, and the Truth and the Life. No one can get to the Father except by means of me” (John14:6).

Dear Mr. Physician

I am about to attend my first formal dinner party and I'm really excited! The first course will be soup and I need to know the proper way to conduct myself at the table.Can you help?

The Doctor is always happy to provide tips on proper dining etiquette- especially with the Prom season fast approaching! When eating soup at a formal dinner, always observe the following rules to ensure proper etiquette…

  1. The soup bowl should be directly in front of you. Your  spoon should be located on the right, napkin on the left, with the  water glass located at the two o’clock position.
  2. You are permitted to unfold your napkin and place it on your lap if you desire.
  3. The proper custom for eating soup at a formal dinner is as follows: grasp the bowl firmly with both hands and lift it to your mouth while extending the little fingers of each hand outward. It is considered proper to ingest the soup by making a loud slurping sound. Belch loudly.
  4. Finish by forgetting the napkin and wiping your mouth with the back of your sleeve or gown. Use the spoon to launch small wads of paper or gum into your neighbor’s hair.

Just follow these helpful tips and everyone at the party will be sure to take notice of your example.

Dear Medical-Type Person

How can anyone really know what happens after they die?

That’s a good question and here’s a good answer- you can know what happens to you when you die. How? Well, if you know Jesus Christ, then you know someone who has been on the other side and has come back to tell you about it. (see 1 Corinthians 15:3-8, and Revelation 1:18)

You see, when people want to travel to a place they’ve never been before, they often try to find someone who has already made the trip. Then they can talk to that person and find the best route to take, problems to watch out for and where they can stay after they’ve arrived. Well in a similar way, Jesus has done much the same thing for us in regards to this question. Think about it-

  • Jesus Himself has given you the best (actually, the only) route to take when He said, “I am the way and the truth and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me” (John
    14:6 RSV)
  • Jesus cautioned about some problems that you might expect along the way saying, “…Don’t let anyone mislead you. For many will come announcing themselves to be the Messiah, and
    saying, ‘The time has come’. But don’t believe them!” (Luke 21:8).
  • Jesus has also let you know about what you can expect when you arrive at your final destination when He tells you, “Let not your hearts be troubled. You are trusting God, now trust in me. There are many homes up there where my Father lives, and I am going to prepare them for your coming. When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you can always be with me where I am. If this weren’t so, I would tell you plainly” (John 14:1-3).

There’s no need to worry about what happens to you after you die. If you are depending on Jesus to get you home, then your eternal travel plans are all set.

Do you have a question for The Doctor? Just send it to the email address above- you’ll get a personal reply and you just might see it answered here.