Mailbag VI – The Doctor's Office

Well, the summer has finally arrived here where The Doctor lives. The weather is warming up and it’s time to head to the beach and catch some rays. But before we go, let’s take a quick look in the mailbag and check out some of your recent questions.

This edition features a two-part question that raises some really important issues. So let’s check it out- then grab your shades, some suntan lotion, and your favorite mp3’s and let’s hit the shore!

My question is this: How can you worship the Lord but at the same time be yourself? What I mean is like listen to non-Christian music (but not bad music) or hang with non-Christian people (but they are not bad either)

Ok, let’s take the music question first. The Doctor doesn’t believe that all non-Christian music is bad but he does believe that we should be very selective in what we choose to fill our minds with. To help decide what’s “good” and what’s “bad” to listen to, try asking yourself these questions…

What does this song/group say?
What does this song/group mean?
What is this song/group communicating about my faith?

If you get some negative answers to these questions (even a few) then it’s probably not a good idea to listen to that song or group.

Be careful not to fall into the trap of saying to yourself, “I don’t listen to the words, I only like the music.” Many people claim to be able to listen to songs over and over without “hearing” the lyrics but that’s just not true. To illustrate why this is so, just imagine that you are having a conversation with someone in a crowded study hall or lunch room. There may be dozens of other conversations going on around you but you don’t “hear” any of them, right?

But what if something important (like your name) is mentioned in one of these other nearby conversations- what then? Well if you are like most people, you would immediately take notice of the conversation that mentioned your name even though you weren’t actually “listening” to what was being said. You see, while you were engaged in conversation, your mind was also busy monitoring the other nearby conversations to alert you to anything important (like someone speaking your name). This happens because our minds process and sort out everything we hear without us even realizing it. In a similar way, our minds also process the music that we listen to- even the lyrics.

Over time, a particular song or lyric that is repeated over and over can become internalized within us. This is why people can memorize things like television commercials and advertising songs without ever actually “listening” to them. For this reason, The Doctor would caution you to be very careful about the groups and songs that you choose to fill your mind with. Whenever possible, it’s good to look for Christ-honoring bands that are playing what you like to listen to. If you’d like to read a little more on this subject, you can also take a look here and here

So now let’s talk about friends. The Apostle Paul makes an important observation about this question in 1 Corinthians 5:9-10 when he says this…

“When I wrote to you before I said not to mix with evil people. But when I said that I wasn’t talking about unbelievers who live in sexual sin or are greedy cheats and thieves and idol worshipers. For you can’t live in this world without being with people like that.”

So the Bible says that coming into contact with people who don’t believe in Christianity is a fact of life. The world is filled with many different kinds of people and The Doctor believes that we can (and should) have friendly relationships with non-Christians. However, Paul also gives us this word of caution a little later on in 1 Corinthians…

“Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character'” (1 Corinthians 15:33 NIV).

We have all known people who have changed after they started hanging around with a different group of friends, right? This happens because our friendships help influence who we are as individuals. For this reason The Doctor believes that it’s important to be wise in our relationships with people. It’s one thing to have non-Christian friends and acquaintances. But your really close, tight friendships and relationships with others are best reserved for people who share your faith.

The Bible has a lot to say about choosing your friends carefully- check it out…

“If young toughs tell you, ‘Come and join us’– turn your back on them! ‘We’ll hide and rob and kill,’ they say. ‘Good or bad, we’ll treat them all alike. And the loot we’ll get! All kinds of stuff! Come on, throw in your lot with us; we’ll split with you in equal shares.’ Don’t do it, son! Stay far from men like that, for crime is their way of life, and murder is their specialty. When a bird sees a trap being set, it stays away, but not these men; they trap themselves! They lay a booby trap for their own lives. Such is the fate of all who live by violence and murder. They will die a violent death” (Proverbs 1:10-19).

“The righteous should choose his friends carefully, for the way of the wicked leads them astray” (Proverbs 12:26 NKJ).“Be with wise men and become wise. Be with evil men and become evil” (Proverbs 13:20).

“Keep away from angry, short-tempered men, lest you learn to be like them and endanger your soul” (Proverbs 22:24).

“And now there is one more thing to say before I end this letter. Stay away from those who cause divisions and are upsetting people’s faith, teaching things about Christ that are contrary to what you have been taught” (Romans 16:17).

“Don’t be fooled by those who try to excuse these sins, for the terrible wrath of God is upon all those who do them” (Ephesians 5:6).

“…But it takes only one wrong person among you to infect all the others” (Galatians 5:9).

“Don’t be teamed with those who do not love the Lord, for what do the people of God have in common with the people of sin? How can light live with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14).

“…How can a Christian be a partner with one who doesn’t believe? …That is why the Lord has said, ‘Leave them; separate yourselves from them; don’t touch their filthy things, and I will welcome you'” (2 Corinthians 6:15, 17).

The Doctor would encourage you to think and pray over these questions carefully. Ask God to give you guidance and direction regarding your music and your friends and He will do it! (see James 1:5).

Do you have a question for The Doctor? Just send it to the email address above- you’ll get a personal reply and you just might see it answered here.