“Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord” (Colossians 3:20 ESV).
A youth who experiences difficulty in his or her relationship with a parent may object to the counsel given to us here in Colossians 3:20. Those objections might include some or all of the following…
- My parents are too strict.
- My parents won’t listen to me.
- My parents don’t trust me.
For argument’s sake, let’s assume those characterizations are accurate. In this situation, a youth with these objections might benefit by considering the answer to the following question: “Does that therefore make it right for me to treat my parents impolitely or disrespectfully?” You see, a youth who is tempted to push back against a parent in that manner would do well to remember Jesus’ counsel from Matthew 7:12: “In everything, therefore, treat people the same way you want them to treat you…” (NASB).
Here’s another useful exercise: If you’re a youth, consider the things you dislike about your parents. Once you’ve identified those things, ask yourself a second question: “Am I duplicating those same behaviors in my relationship with my parents?” In other words, is it possible that a problem has developed because you are interacting with your parents in the same way they are interacting with you? For instance…
- “My parents are stubborn!” That may be true, but have you acted in a similar manner? Is it possible that you are demonstrating the very same trait you dislike in them?
- “My parents never listen to me!” That’s possible, but is it also possible that you are are not listening to them as well?
Could it be that a conflict has developed because you and your parents are more alike than you think? Before you come down too hard on your parents for their perceived faults, perhaps you might look inwardly first…..
“Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged. And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye” (Matthew 7:1-5 NLT).
If we are not careful to seek God’s help, we may end up duplicating the same negative characteristics we disapprove of in our parents. The following verse will illustrate the need to be alert to this danger.