“that each one of you know how to possess himself of his own vessel in sanctification and honour, not in the passion of lust, even as the Gentiles which know not God” (1 Thessalonians 4:4-5 RV).
We can view this reference to “possessing one’s own vessel” in at least two different ways. The first involves mastery over one’s body, especially in the area of sexual expression. Several different Biblical versions have taken this translational approach…
“that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor” (ESV).
“learn how to control your own body in a pure and respectable way” (CEB).
“that each of you know how to manage his sexual impulses in a holy and honorable manner” (CJB).
In these examples, the word “vessel” is used to represent the body in much the same manner as it is used in 2 Corinthians 4:7: “But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us.”
However, it is also possible to associate this passage with a virtuous marriage relationship. That approach is featured in the following Biblical translations…
“Respect and honor your wife” (CEV).
“that each one of you know how to take a wife for himself in holiness and honor” (RSV).
“Each of you should know that finding a husband or wife for yourself is to be done in a holy and honorable way” (GW).
As with our first example, we can find support for this approach from another portion of the Bible. In this instance, we can turn to 1 Peter 3:7 where we read, “Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.”
Regardless of the approach we take in analyzing this verse, this passage encourages us to maintain a God-honoring attitude of self-control. This is a representative quality of God’s Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) and as one commentator has observed, “If you cannot possess yourself of your own nature, be possessed by the Holy Spirit. God giveth His Holy Spirit for this purpose.” (1)
The undesirable alternative involves “passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God…” (NIV). While passion has a rightful and honorable place in a God-honoring marriage relationship, “lust” describes the mindset of a person who uses others in an effort to fulfill his or her desires. Lust may also involve varying degrees of selfishness, exploitation, or victimization and thus is incompatible with God’s character.
(1) Meyer, Frederick Brotherton. “Commentary on 1 Thessalonians 4:4”. “F. B. Meyer’s ‘Through the Bible’ Commentary”. https://www.studylight.org/commentaries/fbm/1-thessalonians-4.html. 1914.