“For God did not call us to uncleanness, but in holiness. Therefore he who rejects this does not reject man, but God, who has also given us His Holy Spirit” (1 Thessalonians 4:7-8).
One commentary makes an intriguing statement regarding this passage that is certain to be dismissed by large segments of modern-day society…
“…holiness is not asceticism. Human sexuality can be expressed legitimately and honourably within the bounds of marriage. Sexual immorality, by contrast, is essentially selfish and dishonourable.” (1)
While many would certainly reject this latter assertion, we can illustrate the validity of this idea with a case in point. Let’s take the example of two singles who live and/or sleep together but remain unmarried. If the couple in our scenario is reluctant to commit to one another in marriage, the question becomes, why?
One potential response is that one or both partners are seeking to determine if they are sexually compatible before entering a marriage commitment. If that is the case, then it seems fair to ask how many “tests” might be necessary for the couple to reach a conclusion regarding their sexual compatibility and how long their “research project” might last. And what if one partner finds another person who appears to be sexually preferable during that period- what then?
Of course, those who engage in such relationships may like the fact that they are unencumbered by a marital commitment. They may appreciate the advantages of a sexual relationship without the obligation and responsibility that goes along with a marriage vow. Others many simply enjoy the convenience that accompanies a “friend with benefits.”
Unfortunately, there is a sobering truth that may lie hidden at the core of such relationships. Even if one or both partners believe they are in love with one another, these relationships may be little more than business arrangements where each partner agrees to meet each other’s mutual needs. At worst, one or both partners are simply using one another for their own gratification.
While many 21st century cultures recognize these types of domestic partnerships, 1 Thessalonians 4:8 takes a decidedly different view: “Therefore, whoever rejects these instructions isn’t rejecting a human authority. They are rejecting God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you” (CEB). We can return to the source quoted earlier for some closing thoughts on this topic…
“Few things have contributed more to the downfall of believers than sexuality. However mature one might be, the constant bombardment from a society that does not know God (v.5), coupled with the nature of sexual desires, provide ready ammunition for the Tempter (see 3:5). Paul’s implied remedy is the continuing presence of the Spirit in the believer’s life.” (1)
(1) Asbury Bible Commentary, Holiness and Sexuality (1 Thessalonians 4:3-8) Copyright © 1992 by The Zondervan Corporation.