“Now may our God and Father himself, and our Lord Jesus, direct our way to you, and may the Lord make you increase and abound in love for one another and for all, as we do for you, so that he may establish your hearts blameless in holiness before our God and Father, at the coming of our Lord Jesus with all his saints” (1 Thessalonians 3:11-13).
This passage of Scripture merits close attention as we seek to “…increase and abound in love for one another and for all.” We can begin by recognizing that the type of love referenced here in 1 Thessalonians 3:12 is not necessarily synonymous with an external display of emotional affection. Instead, it is the kind of love that originates in the will.
Nevertheless, this does not mean that we should maintain a cold, impersonal commitment to love. For example, consider Paul the Apostle’s deep emotional attachment towards those who are mentioned in the following New Testament passages…
“Recalling your tears, I long to see you, so that I may be filled with joy” (2 Timothy 1:4 NIV).
“And there was much weeping on the part of all; they embraced Paul and kissed him” (Acts 20:37 ESV).
“Do I say this because I don’t love you? God knows I love you!” (2 Corinthians 11:11 GNT).
We should also note Jesus’ emotional response to the death of His friend Lazarus (John 11) and the depth of His love for His disciples (John 15:12-15). These passages remind us that there is a legitimate place for the genuine display of emotional affection.
Nevertheless, we must recognize that genuine love always seeks another person’s highest good from a Biblical perspective. That may sometimes involve allowing others to experience the negative consequences of their decisions (1 Timothy 1:19-20). It might also involve correction and/or discipline (Revelation 3:19, Hebrews 12:5-11). It may even involve limiting our external displays of affection for the benefit of others for a wise person knows “There is a time to embrace someone. And there’s a time not to embrace” (Ecclesiastes 3:5 NIRV).
In light of these things, it is important to maintain a balanced definition of love that incorporates more than just an external display of affection or an outward expression of our feelings. An accurate, mature perspective regarding the nature of genuine love can help us “…walk worthy of the calling you have received, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, accepting one another in love, diligently keeping the unity of the Spirit with the peace that binds us” (Ephesians 4:1-3 HCSB).
For more on this general topic, see discussion beginning here