“For neither at any time did we use flattering words, as you know, nor a cloak for covetousness—God is witness” (1 Thessalonians 2:5).
While an astonishing number of social, cultural, and technological changes have taken place since the epistle of 1 Thessalonians was originally written, there are some things that haven’t seemed to change very much at all. Take the concept of flattery as mentioned in the passage quoted above. “Flattery” means to “compliment excessively and often insincerely, especially in order to win favor.” (1) When someone engages in flattery, he or she is interacting with others in a false or deceitful manner.
We often associate this kind of behavior with an attempt to manipulate others or gain something of value. Thus, an act of flattery often represents little more than an effort to use others to secure a personal advantage. In addition to what we read here in 1 Thessalonians, the Old Testament book of Proverbs has much to say regarding this type of conduct…
“Flattery is a form of hatred and wounds cruelly” (Proverbs 26:28 TLB).
“Whoever flatters his neighbor is spreading a net for his feet” (Proverbs 29:5 NIV).
“A man with hate in his heart may sound pleasant enough, but don’t believe him; for he is cursing you in his heart. Though he pretends to be so kind, his hatred will finally come to light for all to see” (Proverbs 26:24 TLB).
The New Testament epistle to the Romans also warns against engaging in such behavior as well: “Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good” (Romans 12:9). So taken together, these passages remind us that we should strive for authenticity in our relationships with others and avoid treating them in a flattering manner. Instead, it would be far more honorable to follow the instruction given to us in the Biblical book of Philippians…
“Don’t be selfish; don’t live to make a good impression on others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourself. Don’t just think about your own affairs, but be interested in others, too, and in what they are doing.
Your attitude should be the kind that was shown us by Jesus Christ, who, though he was God, did not demand and cling to his rights as God, but laid aside his mighty power and glory, taking the disguise of a slave and becoming like men. And he humbled himself even further, going so far as actually to die a criminal’s death on a cross” (Philippians 2:3-8 TLB).
(1) The American Heritage Dictionary third edition