“Remind them of these things, and charge them before God not to quarrel about words, which does no good, but only ruins the hearers” (2 Timothy 2:14 ESV).
When it comes to interacting with a contentious individual, it may be helpful to consider whether the person involved is only seeking to express his or her opinion. If such is the case, then the Biblical book of Proverbs provides us with some valuable insight: “A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions” (Proverbs 18:2 NIV).
You see, there’s a difference between a disagreement (or a difference of opinion) and the quarrelsome type of interaction mentioned here in 2 Timothy 2:14. The difference is that a person who seeks to initiate a quarrel is probably not interested in exchanging ideas but in merely stating his or her view. For example, two people with opposing views may engage in a mutual exchange of ideas if they have a genuine desire to communicate and understand one another. On the other hand, a quarrel often involves a one-way exchange where two individuals talk at one another instead of with one another.
There are other clues that may alert us to the development of an unhealthy quarrel. For instance, quarrelsome individuals generally prefer to think about what they want to say instead of listening to others. Or perhaps they may seek to exploit a trivial misstatement in an attempt to invalidate another person’s response. This is how different opinions can grow to become the “quarrels about words” spoken of here.
Good results rarely come from these types of argumentative discussions. In the words of 2 Timothy 2:14, they only “..ruin everyone who listens to them” (CEV). Therefore, this passage reveals another quality that serves to identify a person of God-honoring character: he or she refuses to quarrel over secondary issues.
In light of this, we should give heed to the following observations…
“The word-splitter wrangles, not for the sake of arriving at the truth, but for the sake of a dialectical victory. He cares little as to what is right or wrong, so long as he comes off triumphant in the argument. Hence the Apostle said in the first Epistle that the natural fruit of these disputes about words is ‘envy, strife, and railings’ {1Ti_6:4}… It has been a favorite device of the heretics and skeptics of all ages to endeavor to provoke a discussion on points about which they hope to place an opponent in a difficulty. Their object is not to settle, but to unsettle; not to clear up doubts, but to create them.” (1)
(1) Nicoll, William R. “Commentary on 2 Timothy 2”. “Expositor’s Bible Commentary” https://www.studylight.org/commentaries/eng/teb/2-timothy-2.html.